Like Tess, But With A Procrastination Catalyst

You Are Creepy

Serial killers would run away from you in a flash.

How Scary Are You?

heeheehee. I think the (::gleefully::) "I've made three people cry within the last week!" thing influenced that just a little.

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few. But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Campy!! =P

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Me gusta.

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

Ooo-ooh! haha

I like Shakespeare.

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Ant Crystal Your Superpower is Winking Your Weakness is Water Your Weapon is Your Terra Torpedoes Your Mode of Transportation is Love Van

What's your Superhero Name?

.....Ant.......Crystal?
Winking?!?!
Eww.
But.....Love Van? Hook me up. =P Fab.

So I Smile

If you're going to San Francisco/Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair/If you're going to San Francisco/You're gonna meet some gentle people there

For those who come to San Francisco/Summertime will be a love-in there/In the streets of San Francisco/Gentle people with flowers in their hair....

I am getting so anxious to leave this place. =) I can't wait.

I am looking at a film school in the aforementioned city. I'm not holding my breath, but I'm getting excited.

This Loneliness Inside Makes Me Feel Half-Alive

.....Then weak I'd rather be
. If it means having you to keep
. 'Cause lately I've been losing sleep.....



"Cracklin' Rosie, make me smile
Girl, if it lasts for an hour, well that's alright
'Cause we got all night
To set the world right"

Of Blindside, Milk, And Arlo Guthrie

"This week sees the end of our touring in the US for 2005. This tour has been really great. Despite some really difficult times with Tomas and Christian both having injuries we have really had a great time on this tour. We want to thank all of you who came out to see the show. We want to thank Trapt and Aphasia especially Will from Aphasia for sitting in for Tomas while his head got stuck back together.

We want to wish all of our friends in the US a very happy Thanksgiving holiday. As a band we are so thankful for all the support we have received in the US over the last few years. You have always made us feel so welcome and at home."

::hugs::

I <3 you all.
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So I was making my hot chocolate last night, and I had seen a new can of whipped cream in the fridge earlier, so I was like, "Yes. I am gonna have litte marshmallows and whipped cream on my hot chocolate! This'll be awesome." So I've got my little steaming mug sitting on the counter and I get out the whipped cream. This is what I see: A piece of tape over the lid. Meh, I'll take it off, she'll never notice. This is what it says: "ANGELA, SAVE FOR TURKEY DAY" =P Aww, man! You can't ignore a piece of tape when it's got your name on it. I had to laugh though. I am such a whipped cream fiend that the warnings go out especially for me, now. =D
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In the Blindside newsletters they are doing this inside-the-new-album thing where they ask the guys about the different songs.... this time it was "We're All Going To Die," and everyone talked but when they got down to Simon, this is what he said: "I don’t even remember tracking some of these songs – I was so lost in DVD land. Stop asking me these questions..." hehe...... Okay, well, -I- thought it was funny. =P

I am doing major Blindside merch ordering. Yay! I feel overindulgent. Oh well, I don't care. I've been a fan for coming on two years now, and I've never bought any of their stuff myself except for show tickets. So, I'm splurging. Blah! Mucho moneda. And some of you can expect a Merry Blindside Christmas as well! =D
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Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, as we all know. Now, I charge you this: Weigh yourself directly before you eat. Weigh yourself directly after you eat. Then comment and tell me how much you put away at supper. One time this skinny kid told me he gained 10 pounds at Thanksgiving dinner, and ever since I've always wondered......do we all really eat that much? So I'm going to do it, and you should too.

Until next time, have a happy Thanksgiving, listen to Alice's Restaurant if you have it, actually make an on-going list of what you are grateful for, think of me if you see cranberry sauce, and don't half-bake your turkey.

'Bye!

Melodrama

::pouts::

I want hot chocolate and a Trevor.

And Emery.
This calls for Emery and a blanket.

Life is so much better with a blanket.

And a dark room with a fluffy bed and no one but me.

I don't know what to do with people. I am too used to being by myself that I just honestly don't know how to handle the presence of another human being.

If that's what I am...

Give Me Money, That's What I Want

Yesterday I worked open to close at Subway.

15 hours. Straight.

Actually almost sixteen, with post-door-lockage clean-up. And then these awesome gothy boys came in right before we closed, and I started talking to the one with the awesome hat and he invited me to his show at the Alrosa the day after Thanksgiving. Any guy who knows about the Doors, Elvis' "In The Ghetto," and wears a top hat just around, can't be too bad. Maybe Crystal will brave the ostensible scariness of the Alrosa and go with me. 'Cause I mean, let's face it....even if it sucks, what else are we going to be doing that night? Exactly. If nothing else (probably the case), we'll at least come away with an amusing story. However, there is hardly any info on it at the web page so....only time will tell!

Also: I was way tired, and caffeinated, and acting like it. So special thanks to Kim and Henry for putting up with me, and to Henry for putting in several hours of unpaid labor at a place he doesn't even work at. He is a regular Jessica Watts! =P

Will probably not agree to do that again. Well.....maybe. As the writers of the song quoted in the title, I'm a sucker for the green. "Money don't get everything, it's true, but what it don't get, I can't use...." =D

Quote Of The Day!

From Crystal!

"See, I wish you were here. 'Cause the band that J merches for is having a show tonight and it's only $5 ... and I want to go but Katelin is like, "We have been blowing off school too much. I have to study." I was like, "WHAT?!?!!? GIVE ME ANGELA OR GIVE ME DEATH!""

heeheehee =D

Whatever You Want, Just Dial

No one / can make me smile / the way that you make me smile.

But then I see _____ }-a girl-{, who reminds me that I should not be smiling at you when he is being given so much of my time, or rather, I should not be giving him so much of my time, so many of my lies, when it is only you that can make me smile this way.

Some how I only smile more, wondering if she knows, what does she think is going through my head right now?, can people tell by the way I look at you?

You Love To Sing

Who is a bitch at seven years old? Who even guessed it was possible to be a bitch at age seven? I mean, I'm a bitch, but that's because stuff has happened to me and I have handled it all wrong. They're seven. There's no motivation for their bitchiness. I swear, they're going to have major issues by the time they're in--middle school, if they're this cranky in first grade. I was a weird kid, to be sure, but I'm pretty sure I was never like this.........was I?..........can't remember....... Children. I shall never have them. But if I did, I wouldn't let them act like this.

Crystal will be here in less than a week! I'm excited! Take this quote from this post:

"...best of all, Angela and I get to hang out and spend 5 days quoting Seinfeld, talking music, discussing Mick and Keith and their clothes, and just being like-minded. Good."

Indeed. I have missed my sister. And I will be non-grounded as of November 24th, so we shall hit up Steak N Shake and Trev; Jason, Rag-O-Rama and our antique stores; and Polaris, and Blockbuster, and we shall just thoroughly enjoy ourselves. Yay! I like being ungrounded!

I shall also make a.......ehh, this is a messy situation. Note To Self: Ring Susen.

I was given a smile this morning in the semi-darkness that was so sweet and purely beautiful that it made my brain hurt.

Even Funnier At Night

I heart the White Ninja!

Eyeliner + Black Fingerless Gloves = Happiness

It is raining and it is dark and the wind is blowing. I want hugs and kisses, which I do not get paid in. Thank goodness.

Crystal is coming home on Tuesday.

I have been doing highly uncharacteristic things lately, such as eating a tuna sub, hugging Nate, and being ridiculously honest.

My pretty gay boy cut his hair. It now looks veritably awful.

I overuse possessive...pronouns......adjectives......whatever. You know what I mean. I have a million boys, theories, bands, restaurants, cities, countries, clothing styles, strangers, and they're all "mine."

Robin must be called.

I would be way more up for getting my tongue pierced if it was less scary- and painful-sounding. It's incredibly hot, though. So I will just continue to consider: Do I really hate my tongue that much, to inflict such torture upon it? ::shiver:: Plans for lip punctuation, however, are still in full swing. Eek, it's getting closer! ::is excited:: Eight months! =P Mwah, mwah, mwah. Then I shall finally reach Willie Nirvana! haha, That sounded weird. Oh well, Crystal knows what I mean. =D

I have been incredibly lovey-dovey these past couple days. It's pretty weird. I think it's all that Copeland I've been listening to lately. I mean, I love the darlings, but.....well, that's just the problem. =) "Rain, rain, rain on my mind, I've got a secret life." =) Oh well. It's nice to wake up to. And someday I shall see them in a coffee shop in the middle of the night, and it will all be okay again.

El fin. I’ve got nothing left to say.

I Want To Stick My Nose In It, Like Crystal To Angel Food Cake

Guys......I did a bad thing this morning. ::is shameful:: I fell asleep and deliberately left the phone next to my pillow. I know, I know. Feel free to yell at me later. =[
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You know what I appreciate? Black nails. On me. I mean, I appreciate them on other people, but tonight I am just appreciating them on me. =) Because, there was such a long time where they were not black, because they were not allowed to be black. And I was stretching in front of the bathroom mirror just now and thought it was very nice to see dark tips waving around at the end of my fingers.

You know what else I appreciate? People who offer hugs. I know lots of people will actually hug you, but people who offer are just... nice people. =) ::appreciation on hug-offerers::

I also appreciate: working with Kim. Even though she is kind of whiny and gossipy....haha, that makes her sound annoying. But I enjoy working with her, haha.
Also: chocolate pudding at 2 AM that is not a snack pack! (with plastic spoon)
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The walls are red. I wonder if that room has ever seen any audio blood. He is curled up with an acoustic (yeah, right) in the corner, our corner, of a black leather couch. He has the scarf around his leg, tied up above his knee now, and the navy blue jacket. His hair is so long. The way he unknowingly abuses his beauty is unfair. If only he would cut his hair and stop loving me.... But blunt words stop at even my harsh lips when he is smiling, when he is under one streetlight, when his hair is frizzy and messy. When he is tired.

Err! And so I end up here, in unknown cyberspace, saying, "Please come back soon, baby, so you don't forget us."
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I watch the video, and cannot help but giggle. He is cute. Oh no! The accent!

Equations And A Sugar Safari

boy(s) + 52 oz. of caffeine = one weird day

I really want chocolate.....and there is none. Boo. You know what I really need? One of those dark chocolate emo milkshakes from Steak N Shake. Ahhhh. Yes. But alas, I am grounded ::hates boys:: Ooh--chocolate chips! And popcorn? Hm....I have caramel upstairs.....let's see if we have any marshmallows......

Mmm..... little marshmallows + melted chocolate and caramel + buttered popcorn + one tall glass of cold milk = quite possibly the greatest Sick Little Suicide ever

Now if only I didn't have to write 3 paragraphs in Spanish about Simón Bolívar..... ::suddenly feels sleepy::

I Die Each Time

"Oww!" He squeezes the pliers too hard and drops them, pulling his hand up to his face for scrutiny.

"What?"

"Look at that!"

He holds his hand out to me. A small set of thin lines are indented on his palm. I point, my finger close to his skin.

"That?"

"Yeah."

He jerks his hand away, quickly, before I can touch it.

A List Of Things I Am (Not-SO-Seriously) In Love With

(Incomplete.)

Trevor.
William Shakespeare.
NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE my soul mate of a foreign time period!
Aaron Marsh.
Christian Lindskog.
William Beckett (will drag my heart around on a leash till the very end).
Josh Dies. (skinny boy with black nails and colored eye make-up who dances like Mick Jagger droooooool....)
Emery.
The lead singer of Mae.
The way people over-use the word "collectible."
People who eat honey.
Sylvia Plath.
Being alone in the middle of the night.
Creation!
Listeners of weird music.
Poets.
Dirty hair.
Nice hands.
Avant-garde anythings.
Lip rings!

"The list goes on and on......The list goes on and on and on......The list goes on and on......"
(Anybody who can tell me what that's from gets three points!!)

These parallels and silly games, hide your face and say the name (say the name) say the name.....

Update On The Self-Absorption Post

(This one.)



My name is Angela Sparks.
I am seventeen years old.
(We are going to ignore any implications that go along with that.)
I still love my sister. I miss her. She is having too much fun without me.

I love the opening guitar on No One Really Wins (Copeland, my loves).
There is no foreseeable end to the number of caramel apples I can eat in one sitting. (Though they are best when pacing around.)
I leave people I love and hurt people that are nice to me.
I have added 1-2-3 pairs of fishnets to my collection. Black this time, and pretty designs.
I am still in love with the boy who still waits tables at Steak N Shake, who is still too old for me, and yes, who still does have my robot drawing. (He even brought it up, not me.)

I have gone a little neurotic. (You couldn't tell, could you?)

I don't shave my legs and I don't listen to hardcore (or at least, I haven't in awhile s....a....d).
You shouldn't love me.

I overanalyze, I'm hypercritical. "You're just judging right and left today, aren't you?!"
I don't write, I don't read, I can't make friends with people.

The only thing I'm really good at is falling in love with the wrong people at the wrong time or the right people at the wrong time, or the wrong people at the right time.
I'm a fatalist.
I AM SELF-ABSORBED!

I am currently, as you read, ACCOMODATING!!!! ::gasp::

I haven't been kissed on the cheek in a long time.

I am pretty good at negative self-advertisment.
I am not audacious enough to call someone I barely know at 3 o'clock in the morning.

Today I didn't write.
Today I fell asleep with my contacts in.
Today I kept living even though I was completely unsure of what I was doing.
Again.
Again.
Again.

I really like digression. I miss having brown eyes to look into.

I DO DUMB THINGS, CONTINUOUSLY (with the hope that if I repeat it enough it will stop being true!)!!!

You shouldn't love me.

I will fall for the adorable boyishness of it every time.

You shouldn't love me.

Uh-Oh

I'm stuck already. =/

I didn't even get to my word count yesterday, not because I was too tired to finish, but because I honestly had no where to go with the story. I realized today at school that I pretty much just created The Real World on paper. And as everyone knows, the lives of twenty-somethings are incredibly difficult to make interesting to anyone, even when they seemed interesting to those living them at the time. ::adds to list of things that suck::

1. Delaware sucks.
2. School sucks.
3. Homework sucks.
4. Critiques for photography suck.
5. Boys suck (duh).
6. Having no one to hug sucks.
7. Getting up early sucks.
8. Being gullible REALLY SUCKS.
9. "You fake it and I follow you right in" sucks.
10. Having absolutely no creative genius sucks.

Road Runner, on the other hand, does not suck. Road Runner is love.

I had fantastic intentions of putting in some quality time with my notebook when I got home from school today. But.... I have no ideas. I don't know what to write at all. No plot. Shallow characters that I don't have the capability of fleshing out. I have absolutely nothing to say.

And for a writer to realize she has nothing to say....that is a scary thing.

And so I haven't written anything tonight. I will go to bed. I will not write anything. Because...
11. I suck.

I want someone to make me feel better.

I was doing so well at this time last year! And I was so happy on Tuesday...

November 1st, 2005

THE MADNESS HAS BEGUN!

November is here! The novelling begins!

I will (if all goes well) generally disappear from IM and blogworld this month. If I am on too much, yell at me, for that means I am not writing as feverishly as I should be. If I am not on enough (or not as much as you think I should be), call the house and demand to speak to me to make sure I have not descended irretrievably far into the madness.

Right now I am trying to coach Chris into putting pen to paper. [Or finger to keyboard.] After that though, it's off to the notebook!

Here's to starting the month off already sleep-deprived!

Caffeinated Beverage Intake Ticker: 2