To Immediacy, And "Zoe"

You make my heart crack.

I wish I was so beautiful.

Day 11

More than half done.

Black fingertip sliding over the calendar counts the days until

It'll be over soon.

And on the other hand, it'll be over soon.

::sigh:: "You're throwing away happiness with both hands, and reaching out for something that will never make you happy."

And then there's the hand that says I don't know what I'm doing. And the other hand that knows I know completely what I'm doing. It's wicked. But I can't say I don't like it. I understand why tyrants hold onto power with an iron fist. It's a solid feeling in your guts and a tingle up your spine.
_________________________________________

I hate males.

Today started out awful and improved slightly as the hours passed. It began with two completely separate sobbing fits before 8 am! And, while I was on the phone with someone. =/ Me and Jesse give that.......... a >>Thumbs Down<<.

Two other bad things that started off my day were my brother being a prick and my mother being a crazy, delusional freak. Yay!

Some good things that happened were:

a)Seeing my grandma.
b)Getting a dictionary. (My very own! Yay!)
c)Finally making the decision to leave this place at directly after graduation instead of at the end of the summer. TWO THUMBS UP!!!

(That's James.)

c)Lots of Doors and James Douglas Morrison all around. =D
d)Deciding to buy something awesome for Crystal.

See? So not all bad. Although crying, and subsequently getting snot all over the neck of my t-shirt and sleeves of my hoodie, sucked.

Anyway, let's look on the bright side: I'm not dead yet!

At least, I think that's the bright side.

Otra Vez

I am beginning to think that you do not exist.

I think I had a dream about you last night. Which is good.

You're Beautiful

Sometimes
it gets so hard to breathe
Your eyes
see right through me

But you know what?

I love it.

I can't quite remember the last time I was happy like this.

11 entries found for apathy.

Main Entry: apathy
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: uncaring
Synonyms: aloofness, coldness, coolness, detachment, disinterest, dispassion, disregard, dullness, emotionlessness, halfheartedness, heedlessness, indifference, insensibility, insensitivity, insouciance, lassitude, lethargy, listlessness, passiveness, passivity, stoicism, unconcern, unresponsiveness
Antonyms: concern, enthusiasm, interest, involvement, passion
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1)Copyright © 2005 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

Carnosa

Today I got called "meaty" in Spanish. It was an experience.

Cigarettes are revolting unless you are Shawn Harris (actually, I don't even know if he smokes). Not even the Willie Guy can pull it off. The definition of "chain smoker," imagine the death in his mouth. And lungs =P. Oh!, William Beckett! I need you again!










I miss you.

Remember those Dylan lyrics, and Susen and John?

::sigh::

Why is it always this way? Does it have to be? Could it maybe not be for just a moment? (You already got your moment.) So......{{too bold to ask if it's over}}..........???

Quote Of The Day

Sara Kramb: "His essence got on me and it's probably still there!!!"







nicotine-basted lungs, wasted thumbs, one of them asphalt-tasting tongues

she wakes up TO ALARM her makeup IS STILL ON!!

AND SHE CAN'T REMEMBER WHY SHE SET THE DAMN THING!!!!

HeR hEaRt Is A mAcHiNe!

art is meant to be seen

not felt

not heard

it's just paint

they're just words

FINGERS are for feeling

FISTS are for beating

SCABS are for healing

and BLOOD IS FOR BLEEDING!!!

that's just how it used to be and I'm not even good at being me anymore.....

I Paid...

1 painfully sleepless night for Caitlin, and free Italian food
$28.87 for Copeland, and a folkie daydream
$3.00 for a boy with long, stringy, Argentine hair and chocolatey eyes
7.8 ounces of intelligence for your voice in my ear


"Just one more year and you'll choose to regret . . . . Our eyes are fading/Sleep alone"

[i miss you]

At December 9th Show, 1980
"When the world asks you to accept the unacceptable, all you can do is play music.... And then, we played 'Twist and Shout.'" -Max Weinberg, drummer for Bruce Springstreen and the E Street band

Dateline Viewer Emails
"...Did John's life and music affect me? I'm 55 years old, I have a loving wife, two wonderful daughters and a great life and I'm crying as I write this." --Michael Pardys, Chicago, Ill.

"...No offense to the music makers of today but the day the music really did die was December 8, 1980." --Bob Krouse, Defiance, Ohio

"...The next day, all you heard on the radio were his songs. When "In My Life" off of the Rubber Soul album started, I began to cry so hard that I had to pull my car off of the road, where it felt like I wept for an hour." --Michael Monahan, Newnan, Ga.

Chained Together With Their Songs And...

I wrote you a letter that I hope I'll never have to give you.

Perdition, Catch My Soul

"Look on the tragic loading of this bed./This is thy work. The object poisons sight;/Let it be hid."

-Lodovico, from The Tragedy Of Othello, Shakespeare.

Does this sound familiar to you?

"Who steals my purse steal trash; 'tis something, nothing;/'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands;/But he that filches from me my good name/Robs me of that which not enriches him/And makes me poor indeed." -Iago

I found it! The second most fun part about reading Othello was discovering all the little famous phrases that I've heard before and elsewhere, and realizing where they came from. =) (The first is the elaborate language.)

The story line was unbelievable, the characters even more so. The literal ending, lame. But he gets off it with the words. For being Shakespeare......shouldn't he be better than this? Still, I enjoyed every minute of it.....

A normalcy, like well-oiled pistons, we are. Funny isn't it?, how chaos elsewhere can throw us so suddenly into a defined state? But I wouldn't have it any other way, it is perfect for the time.

Winterfair on Friday. I'm quite looking forward to it. I close my eyes and remember this day last year, one year ago -how things have happened since then!-, the fantasy made real--if only for a few hours, a palm outstretched harboring a small handful of change, nickles, smoothies, red hair, the Army Surplus store, the photographs, the wooden puzzle-boxes, the breathing creation, his smiles, "Hey, hey, hey". The awkwardness/beauty of it. Such a lovely day, and a lovely memory. I only hope this year can manage to be as quietly pleasant.

What do you do when you don't know what to do? In the mean time. Mean time.

P.S. Happy December!